The Timeline (T.M.I.)
Wait… wait did I just read? She said what? Oooh uh uh, no she didn’t!
Gossip, gossip, nigga just stop it
Everybody should know I don’t wanna hear that mess. Not all the time at least. I’m a loner so I’m less likely to care what you are doing (not that I don’t like you) and even more less likely to comprehend why you would want me to know. However… sometimes others misfortunes make the best entertainment but that’s not something I should take pleasure in.
I’ve watched forums/message boards, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and now Google+ develop (as well as a few other obscure services) and my one take away has constantly been: people like attention and not always for the right reasons. Something about exposing those inner thoughts or getting a rise out of other compels us to keep doing it, much like this blog. I have my limits though, not that others don’t as well but a lot of people just throw it all out there.
It’s cool though, I mean, I like getting to know folks, hell, that’s what makes us different and unique is who we are as people. But I don’t wanna know all about you, just enough to keep it interesting. I don’t wanna hear about your bigotry, infidelity, and insecurities unless you really wanna go there and you might just find yourself talking to yourself. Reading about someone’s messed up life if one thing, knowing that person and realizing they are struggling sucks. Now you made me feel bad, you made it personal and the worst place to be personal is on the internet; they will eat you alive out here.
I’ve watched people lose themselves trying to keep up with the Joneses. The problem is that in real life, you might know a few Joneses, on the net, there are endless Joneses and they talk madddd shit. But I’m here to help you move on up to the eastside. It’s okay to be a Facebook junkie, a MySpace hoe, or even an over-tweeter (I just made that up, haha), but do it with class and a lil’ bit of dignity.
If you want to put your whole life on Facebook, don’t take EVERY picture in your bathroom mirror with the duck-face. Switch. It. Up. Go outside, go in the living room, better yet have other people take a picture of you. Don’t list so much of your life on your wall or about me page (whatever it’s called). Surprise us sometimes like “tadda: I hated sitting next to (insert name) in high school, he was a straight biyatch” and make sure you @ ‘em, cause if they can’t see it, it ain’t real and you don’t mean it.
If you still on MySpace meeting people and whatnot… I really don’t have any advice, you might be on the westside a bit longer, or maybe you know something others don’t. So look on the bright side, you just might be a genius… maybe. Don’t bet on that though, not yet at least.
And if you live for that live Twitter feed, @ your favorite celebrity a few hundred times a month to get that one RT, stalk the tiny-picture-cute folks and thirst on their instagram and twitpics, put the trending words in all your posts because you hope to “get in” on the action, join #teamfollowback, or you think its great way to spam your wack-ass music to a thousand people…..
Well follow me @pairadyce
Tags: Comedy, Life, People, Social Networks
